Bound and Gagged, Now Unchained

“Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors opened and everyone’s chains were loosed.” Acts 16:26

After having an abortion, life can feel like a prison, locked in a cell of secrecy. This is a dark and lonely place–a place of confinement. Confined, because of that secret, and the guilt and shame that comes with it. Chains can become wrapped securely around the heart, gagged and bound, some of us for years.

In Acts 16:25-26, we find the story of Paul and Silas being thrown into the inner prison where their feet were fastened in the stocks. There was no way they could escape that cell. Yet, they began to worship and sing hymns to the Lord. They were dealing with their situation best they could.

Those with abortion wounds and trauma, may be able to worship in chains as Paul and Silas did, but our hearts have a lock on the door. It is securely wrapped and bolted tight. We may know God forgives us, but we can’t seem to receive that forgiveness. Some of us are not open to receive that precious gift. We do not feel deserving or worthy of such love that only comes from Jesus.

The key out of the chains, the only key that works, is our Healer Jesus.

Verse 26 is the one I want to focus on. It states: “Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors opened and everyone’s chains were loosed.”

Suddenly. When I went through the Deeper Still retreat, like an earthquake, God shook apart the foundation of shame, guilt, and my voicelessness. It all came crumbling to the ground in a pile of ruin. Thank you Jesus!

After all that bondage was shaken loose, it was time to rebuild the infrastructure. First, I had to give Him the authority to work on me by throwing up a white flag. Complete surrender was a choice. Then, suddenly, a new soft and pliable heart began to come forth.

I received a new identity. No longer was I a slave to my sin of abortion. I was finding out just who I was to my Savior. I began to walk through open doors of healing and restoration. Reformation began. I could finally relate to Isaiah 55:12. I went out with joy, and was led out with peace. Peace, something that was foreign to me.

To experience freedom, joy and peace after living in prison– I am not the same woman I use to be! I am being changed from glory to glory ever drawing closer to my Father. He who opened the door to my heart and unfastened my chains, be glory, honor and praise forevermore. I no longer live in a prison cell. Chains no longer have me bound. I have been set free!

Thank You for the freedom that comes from you Jesus. Help us to stand firm, and to not let ourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. For you have set us free, and because of You, we are free indeed. Hallelujah!! Praise, glory and honor to You, our Redeemer!!

Shame and Worthiness

“I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called.” Ephesians 4:1

Funny how an event that happened early in our formative years can have lasting impact. Words have power, and shame showered on us from others leave us wet with a belief system rooted in falsehoods.

It is important to note that much of the shame we carry isn’t founded in truth. Shame has to do with identity, and the enemy wants nothing more than for us to be weighted wet with shame. Perhaps that is where the expression “like a wet blanket” was formed. Shame is a robber, stealing energy, calling, and confidence.

Shame places us outside of our identity in Christ and who we are as the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, fully in right standing with our Creator God.

And we need to cast off that wet mess and tell it to go.

A couple years ago, I remember a specific time when feelings of unworthiness flooded my mind drowning out the truth of my worthiness being in Christ alone. This happened right before I served on a ministry team.

How often I had prayed the verse in Ephesians 4:1, “That I would walk worthy of the calling to which I was called.” Somehow though I never felt worthy no matter how straight I walked.

Sharing with a trusted friend how I felt unworthy, he questioned, “Have you done something or sinned that would make you feel unworthy?” In all sincerity, I couldn’t think of anything specific. It was just a general feeling of being less-than.

Over the last many months, the Lord has been showing me the root of this lie and how shame put on me by others in my youth led to social anxiety, low self-esteem, and fears of rejection.  However, I now am seeing how this “less-than” or “not enough” feeling is no more than a ghost, not based on truth.

In the light of truth, shame loses power, dries up, and fear withers.

The Lord gave me a different interpretation of Ephesians 4:1, as He has told me to “Walk in my worthiness.” –that our worthiness is founded on right standing in Christ, and not based on what we do or don’t do.  Our best works are as filthy rags compared to His glory. Most women who have had abortions feel unworthy. Our works do not impact our worthiness.

Instead of wearing a wet blanket of shame, we are clothed in a robe of righteousness (Isaiah 61:10). This is the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Today, will you throw off the old shame garment, and allow Jesus to place a beautiful clean white light robe on you?

Father, we thank You for Your Word and Your Truth. Today, we choose to cast off shame and allow You to place Your robe of righteousness on us. Help us to walk in our worthiness and believe these truths of who You say we are in Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you.