Held in the New Year

“Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself.” Ephesians 1:4

The time had finally come … 6:00 PM. The occasion I embarrassingly longed for most of the day due to lack of energy … Baby’s BEDTIME. God Himself has blessed me with one of the sweetest human beings on this planet, but today, Mama was tired. My husband and I did our normal nightly routine with her; change her diaper, fill up her humidifier, brush the two teeth, and prayers to Jesus. By this time, she is usually getting the rest of her wiggles out as I begin to lay her in the crib. Tonight was different. Tonight, instead of wiggles, I was welcomed with snuggles. And I’m talking, calm, nestled in your neck – baby snuggles. I felt an intense wave of calm come over me as I spoke words from my heart straight into her little ear. As I held her against my chest, I was overwhelmed with intense love and a sneak peak into the powerful type of love our Father, God in Heaven, must feel about us; His children.

I often liken being a parent to walking around with your heart outside of your chest (as I’m sure many others do). In this moment, holding my one-year-old daughter, I couldn’t help but see a glimpse of His heart for us. We run around in our daily lives, busy and usually with lists and lists of things we “need” to do. Running around like wiggly toddlers who can’t seem to sit still long enough to get into the presence of a holy and loving Father. The Father who just wants to hug us so tight, arms wrapped – heart to heart, whispering His love for us into our little ears.

Held. Deeply loved.

Ephesians 1:4 tells us, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, (Emphasis Added). This just blows my mind. He CHOSE us before the foundation of the world, He PREDESTINED US TO ADOPTION. He LOVES us with a FATHER’S love. Not as a distant creator. But here. Immanuel…God with us.

I am so thankful for His grace and that unlike my own imperfections and shortcomings as a parent, He has none. Jesus Christ is never tired, wishing it were our bedtime so He could finally rest. The Holy Spirit is always there, praying and working on our behalf (Romans 8:26).

As we draw near the end of 2020, our eyes closed on a year past as we snuggle into the new year, may we humble ourselves like children (Matthew 18:4) and wrap our arms around our Father. His arms are ready and willing to embrace his precious children with a love so deep, nothing on this earth can compare.

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for choosing us to be your children. Thank you for saving us from sin and death and welcoming us into your family, to live with you for all of eternity. Thank you for sending your Holy Spirit to dwell within us, to pray for us and to lead us. Lord, please help us to crave a deep and personal relationship with you and if there are any who are reading this that ache at the thought of a loving father, please restore their hearts. Please help them to see you with Heavenly perspective, untainted by the sins of the world; a perfect love. I pray all of this in Jesus’ precious name, Amen.

Heavenly Perspective

There was a tug of war going on in my soul the morning after the election. I woke up and knew I needed to pray before checking my phone to see the “results”. I tried to go about my normal routine before I went ahead and looked up the decision of the American people. Much to, I’m sure, everyone’s chagrin, still no certainty on who would be the next President. I could feel literal heaviness begin to overwhelm me as I sat in the uncertainty of an earthly circumstance. My mind began to wander over many scenarios that could occur, regardless of who wins.

I decided to take a walk. I took my dogs and walked down to the lake nearby. My plan was to put on worship music and walk away my anxiety. God had other plans. I have felt a bit of a dry spell when it comes to writing and hearing from God. In all honesty, it’s because I had been looking down. I realized it when I noticed the reflection of trees in the water. I heard the word perspective.

I had been looking down at the reflection of these trees in the water; but when I actually looked up, I saw the trees for what they actually are, upright, and not upside down. I continued to hear in my mind, “set your sights on things above” over and over again. So I found a rock nearby on a small hill and began to read Colossians chapter 3, where that verse lives. 

3 Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. ² Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. ³ For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God (Emphasis Added). In that short moment, I realized I had been saying with my voice that I trusted God. Yet, I was walking around with the heaviness of the world. I was looking at everything upside down. I feared man and placed my hope in earthly things, rather than setting my sights upward to Heaven on the REALITIES:

The reality that earthly positions change constantly and Christ’s position at the right hand of God does not.

The reality that His position was sealed when Jesus Christ was crucified for the sins of the world.

The reality that Jesus Christ rose to NEW LIFE three days later. The reality that He is preparing a place for us and WILL return for HIS children.

The earth will look upside when the only way we look at it is from an earthly perspective. When we set our sights on heaven and see the earth from its rightful perspective, only then are we are able to see that Christ is still in control. God does not change based on our earthly conditions.

Let us set our sights on HEAVEN, the true reality. Not on the things of a fleeting and dying world. We will always fall short, be disappointed, and left with a void when we try to fill our purpose with the things of this world. But, when we set our sights on the things above, we will be filled with love, mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience (Colossians 3:12), all things a broken and decaying world needs.

Dear Heavenly Father, Please help me to posture my sights upward to you, on the realities of Heaven. Please forgive me for looking down and for losing YOUR perspective. Please help us all to quit looking down at earthly troubles, and to instead look up towards Heaven and the reality of who YOU are. Please help us to be loving, merciful, kind, humble, gentle, and patient so that others can see you in our actions. Please bring more people into your family so that they will also spend eternally with their creator and Heavenly Father. We love you and we trust you. In Jesus Christ’s saving name I pray, Amen.

Today’s post was written by Traci Young, who is a contributor for the Deeper Still Devotional Blog. Traci calls Broomfield, Colorado home, and loves spending quality time with her husband, baby girl, and two red doodles.  She left the workforce to become a stay at home mom and sees it as her mission field! Traci serves on the Fallbrook, CA Deeper Still team.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you.

From Shame to Glory

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

“They’ll know,” she thought quietly near the back.

“It’s probably written all over my face: Liar, hypocrite, selfish.”

“As long as I stay in the back and close to the exit, I’ll be able to hear the word of God, and not risk anyone learning the truth about me. It’s better this way.”

“I gave my voice up the day I swallowed that pill. If I proclaim to be a Christian and stand up for truth and goodness, I’ll only be seen as a hypocrite.”

“If they only knew…” She ached inside as she tried listening to the sermon. She could hardly hear anything besides the many thoughts flooding her heart and mind.
These were just a few of the lies whispered to me by the enemy.

I believed my Savior forgave me with every fiber of my being. He was changing my life, healing and renewing my heart. However, even though I knew I was forgiven, I could not hear the word abortion without recoiling in my skin, feeling sick to my stomach, and wanting to run toward the nearest exit. Nothing in that sounds healed to me; triggered – but not healed. I was afraid to get too close to anyone at church, or any person for that matter. I believed that if anyone knew the real me, they would reject me.  For a while, I allowed people in from a distance.  For five long years I lived half alive; forgiven yet hiding in shame.

Then, as the Lord would have it, I was given an opportunity to serve at a Deeper Still retreat, helping cook meals for the guests. My aunt was the one who invited me to serve. For years I wanted to stop hiding and tell the people I loved about my abortion. But something in my mind always convinced me to stay silent. When my aunt asked to serve, I knew that God was telling me it was TIME- it was time to share my secret.

God instilled on my heart that if I was going to help at a retreat, I could not risk my family finding out while we were there, it would take the focus off of the guests and onto me. I called my dad and then my aunt. Both my dad and aunt were so gracious. They told me I needed to go as a guest and not to serve. I thought I was forgiven and didn’t need to attend… but boy was I wrong!

I love how God works. I thought I would be serving God’s kingdom by cooking meals, but He had mightier plans. He knows us so well. He knew I didn’t think I needed any more healing and that the only way to get me to a mostly family lead retreat would be if they asked first!

At the Deeper Still Retreat, the Lord brought healing on more levels than I even knew existed within my heart and soul. Not only did God forgive me, He revealed that He never intended for my voice to be silent and hidden. God used Deeper Still to give me my voice back. Instead of shame, I saw a testimony.

My eyes began to open to the hurting. I realized that if I had been hiding in shame for years, how many others were doing the same exact thing? How many others were also afraid to be viewed as frauds? Instead of hiding in shame and fear, He encouraged me to speak up. No more whispers, no more secrecy, no more fear.

And the lies that once silenced me, now were turned into opposite proclamations of truth!

“They’ll know HIM,” she proclaimed!

“It’s written all over my face: Forgiven, Loved, FREE IN CHRIST!”

 “I will no longer stay in the back, close to the exit, because I cannot risk anyone not learning the truth about Jesus Christ!”

“I gave my voice to CHRIST the night I asked for His forgiveness. I will proclaim to be a Christian and stand up for truth and goodness! I am not hypocrite.”

“If they only knew…” She ached inside, wanting others to know Jesus is ready to release them from their own bondage.

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for rescuing us from deaths grip. Thank you for dying on the cross for our sins and making a way for us to come to you – through believing in your son, Jesus. I pray for the ones hiding in plain sight, living in bondage to a lie that they are too shameful, too far gone, too damaged. I pray in Jesus name they would leave those worries at the foot of your cross and ask you into their hearts, if they have not done so already. I ask that you would give us godly courage to speak your truth to the ones in our lives. I pray your mercy and truth over us all and thank you for redemption. Thank you for healing. It is in Jesus’ holy name I pray… Amen.

Today’s post was written by Traci Young, who is a contributor for the Deeper Still Devotional Blog. Traci calls Broomfield, Colorado home, and loves spending quality time with her husband, baby girl, and two red doodles.  She left the workforce to become a stay at home mom and sees it as her mission field! Traci serves on the Fallbrook, CA Deeper Still team.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wonderfully Complex and Fully Known

Psalm 139:14 (NLT)
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. 

Last night, as my husband and I prayed with our sweet baby girl before bed, I couldn’t shake this overwhelming feeling of love and worry. Thankfully, I had just come from a church gathering. Our pastor shared a sermon about the importance of rest. He explained how we take on burdens and carry weight never meant to be ours. I immediately thought about my daughter. While I have been entrusted to be her mother, in truth, she doesn’t belong to me; she belongs to Jesus Christ.

Looking down at the most precious face I’d ever seen, I prayed that my daughter would not just know but believe she was fearfully and wonderfully made; knit together in my womb. I prayed she would trust that God knew her, loved her, and had a purpose for her long before any of us even knew she existed. I asked Him to take away my worry, to trust Him with her life. I needed to hear that sermon earlier. I needed to rest in Him. I was reminded that while it is our responsibility as parents to raise her in Christ – she is first and foremost a child of God. He loves her more than we can even fathom… So much peace follows when we humbly obey and release our cares and worries to Him.

After we kissed our daughter goodnight and laid her down, I turned on my phone and caught up on a daily devotional I have been doing with a younger cousin of mine. The study was on identity and knowing who we are and most importantly WHOSE we are. The whole day was centered on our being created as God’s masterpiece, created anew in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 2:10). It was exactly what I needed to read and hear.

Don’t you just love when He affirms your thoughts by giving you scripture to match what you were thinking and feeling? I sure do, because the following verses that came in the study sealed my prayers from earlier that evening with my daughter:

Psalm 139:13-16  (NLT)
¹³ You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
¹⁵ You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
¹⁶ You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

I was convicted that while I have had absolutely no problem seeing my daughter in the verses above, I did not believe them for myself. I, too, was knit together in my mother’s womb, made wonderfully complex, and KNOWN before I was born; and I needed to have the confidence that my life is also recorded in His book. If I were to ever raise a girl to believe these truths, I needed to first believe them over my own life.

I’m so grateful our God is near; we just need to show up. I have been wrestling with Him for a while in regards to learning how to be a mother in His image and not of the world. I believe He has me starting at square one; believing, not just knowing, I am fearfully and wonderfully made, just like my daughter is.

My daughter is seven months old, she watches me. She will continue to look to me for affirmations, lessons, and love. I want her to know who she truly is in Christ. When she watches me, I want her to see her Mom living out God’s truth; a girl like her, made wonderfully complex and fully known by her creator!

Thank you dear Lord for conviction! Thank you for placing in my heart the desire to know you deeper and to know who I am in you. Thank you for the gift of children, no matter how they are placed in our lives. Lord, I pray that you would show us all how to be stewards of your gift of life. I thank you that you are never finished with us, that you are always with us. I pray that you would use us to rise up a new generation rooted in you. Thank you for being there to take all of our worries and cares because you care for us! It is in Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Today’s post was written by Traci Young, who is a contributor for the Deeper Still Devotional Blog. Traci calls Broomfield, Colorado home, and loves spending quality time with her husband, baby girl, and two red doodles.  She left the workforce to become a stay at home mom and sees it as her mission field! Traci serves on the Fallbrook, CA Deeper Still team.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you.

 

 

Healing the Mother Wound

1 Peter 2:4 (NLT)
He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed.

We all have wounds. For me it was a mother’s wound, one that cut very deep. In hopes of filling the Mom-shaped void, I looked for love and validation in places I had no business exploring. I had no idea that the same void I was desperately trying to fill could only be satisfied by Jesus Christ himself. I had no idea that the same grace I had been searching for my whole life, was the exact same my own mother needed.

One particular occasion came to mind when I began to see my own mother in a different light. When the Lord revealed that while she was wounded, her God-given mothering heart was still trying to function …

It was a dark and chilly January evening, somewhere in the early 2000’s. I found myself coming home from hanging out with my childhood friend. I remember walking through the front door, and wondering if any of my family really cared it was still my birthday. The front entryway was dark, with only a distant light from the connected kitchen and family room nearby. The conversational sounds from my siblings and Dad filled the air with a familiar and typical evening. I walked into the kitchen and found her on the floor, again, those same dull dark brown eyes looking up, staring deep into mine, almost as if to say “I’m sorry I hurt you again”. Her movement slow and uncoordinated, she tried to lift herself up, with little success. I watched as she fumbled around the appliances and tried to lift her heavy body onto her feet. She eventually did. She slurred her words as she pointed slowly, with what could be construed as a faint smile, to the debris of cake batter and frosting. In both my favorite color and flavor. Pink and Strawberry. She remembered my birthday.
…
Growing up, I can’t remember a long period of time where my mother was sober. I was born into what felt like insecurity and chaos. I didn’t know any better. My normal looked like a lot of good mixed with a whole lot of scary. As a child, I never understood why she would choose drugs over her own family. I couldn’t understand why we weren’t enough for her, why I wasn’t enough for her? That question would haunt me for many years as I began to create my own wounds I never thought would heal.

But the fascinating part about wounds is: if you take care of them, eventually they will heal. They may even turn into scars if they’re deep enough. But scars can be some of the most powerful reminders of lessons we have learned in life.

The most powerful scars of all are displayed on the hands and feet of Jesus Christ, what a beautiful thought. Reminders that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us (Romans 5:8)! The pain, suffering, and death that brought scars to our Lord are now eternal reminders of how much He loves us; of our eternal hope if we put our trust in Him.

When I stopped running away from Him and truly surrendered my life to Jesus Christ, He valiantly rescued me and set me free from all of my harbored guilt, shame, and fear of abandonment. He took me by the hand and walked me out of a serious pit of deception and misery. He took my open mother wound, sealed it with his blood, and made a beautiful scar. This scar no longer reminds me of what I lack, it reminds me of hope in a broken world. It reminds me that once I was lost, but now I am FOUND.

When Jesus heals, I believe He also reveals. What He revealed to me was a woman hurting. A woman damaged from her own wounds. A woman needing forgiveness, hope, and healing.

He showed me my own mother. A mother who, despite her own wounds and shortcomings, remembered her daughter’s birthday and wanted to make her feel special.

There isn’t a soul on earth too broken to receive Christ’s mercy and grace; Or a wound too deep to feel the healing power of the Holy Spirit.

He is waiting for you to call on Him to be your Lord and Savior; Our God, “who wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth.” 1 Timothy 2:4

If you would, please pray with me as I ask our loving Father to heal and bind up our wounds in Jesus’ name!

My Dearest Heavenly Father,
Thank you for Your saving grace and that through Your son, Jesus Christ, we may come BOLDLY to YOU! Lord, there are wounds so deep, especially this time of year during Mother’s Day. I pray that You would restore these precious hearts and let them know their true worth and purpose is found in the comfort and love of Jesus Christ. I pray we would all seek our validation and worth in who You say we are, and not who the world says we should be. I pray for a peace that would surpass ALL understanding this year on Mother’s Day and that we would all feel a hug from our Heavenly Father. Please teach us how to love, and how to Mother the way you designed us. It’s in your precious name I pray, Amen.

Today’s post was written by Traci Young, who is a contributor for the Deeper Still Devotional Blog. Traci calls Broomfield, Colorado home, and loves spending quality time with her husband, baby girl, and two red doodles.  She left the workforce to become a stay at home mom and sees it as her mission field! Traci serves on the Fallbrook, CA Deeper Still team.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you.