Wonderfully Complex and Fully Known

Psalm 139:14 (NLT)
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. 

Last night, as my husband and I prayed with our sweet baby girl before bed, I couldn’t shake this overwhelming feeling of love and worry. Thankfully, I had just come from a church gathering. Our pastor shared a sermon about the importance of rest. He explained how we take on burdens and carry weight never meant to be ours. I immediately thought about my daughter. While I have been entrusted to be her mother, in truth, she doesn’t belong to me; she belongs to Jesus Christ.

Looking down at the most precious face I’d ever seen, I prayed that my daughter would not just know but believe she was fearfully and wonderfully made; knit together in my womb. I prayed she would trust that God knew her, loved her, and had a purpose for her long before any of us even knew she existed. I asked Him to take away my worry, to trust Him with her life. I needed to hear that sermon earlier. I needed to rest in Him. I was reminded that while it is our responsibility as parents to raise her in Christ – she is first and foremost a child of God. He loves her more than we can even fathom… So much peace follows when we humbly obey and release our cares and worries to Him.

After we kissed our daughter goodnight and laid her down, I turned on my phone and caught up on a daily devotional I have been doing with a younger cousin of mine. The study was on identity and knowing who we are and most importantly WHOSE we are. The whole day was centered on our being created as God’s masterpiece, created anew in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 2:10). It was exactly what I needed to read and hear.

Don’t you just love when He affirms your thoughts by giving you scripture to match what you were thinking and feeling? I sure do, because the following verses that came in the study sealed my prayers from earlier that evening with my daughter:

Psalm 139:13-16  (NLT)
¹³ You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
¹⁵ You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
¹⁶ You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

I was convicted that while I have had absolutely no problem seeing my daughter in the verses above, I did not believe them for myself. I, too, was knit together in my mother’s womb, made wonderfully complex, and KNOWN before I was born; and I needed to have the confidence that my life is also recorded in His book. If I were to ever raise a girl to believe these truths, I needed to first believe them over my own life.

I’m so grateful our God is near; we just need to show up. I have been wrestling with Him for a while in regards to learning how to be a mother in His image and not of the world. I believe He has me starting at square one; believing, not just knowing, I am fearfully and wonderfully made, just like my daughter is.

My daughter is seven months old, she watches me. She will continue to look to me for affirmations, lessons, and love. I want her to know who she truly is in Christ. When she watches me, I want her to see her Mom living out God’s truth; a girl like her, made wonderfully complex and fully known by her creator!

Thank you dear Lord for conviction! Thank you for placing in my heart the desire to know you deeper and to know who I am in you. Thank you for the gift of children, no matter how they are placed in our lives. Lord, I pray that you would show us all how to be stewards of your gift of life. I thank you that you are never finished with us, that you are always with us. I pray that you would use us to rise up a new generation rooted in you. Thank you for being there to take all of our worries and cares because you care for us! It is in Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Today’s post was written by Traci Young, who is a contributor for the Deeper Still Devotional Blog. Traci calls Broomfield, Colorado home, and loves spending quality time with her husband, baby girl, and two red doodles.  She left the workforce to become a stay at home mom and sees it as her mission field! Traci serves on the Fallbrook, CA Deeper Still team.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you.

 

 

Healing the Mother Wound

1 Peter 2:4 (NLT)
He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed.

We all have wounds. For me it was a mother’s wound, one that cut very deep. In hopes of filling the Mom-shaped void, I looked for love and validation in places I had no business exploring. I had no idea that the same void I was desperately trying to fill could only be satisfied by Jesus Christ himself. I had no idea that the same grace I had been searching for my whole life, was the exact same my own mother needed.

One particular occasion came to mind when I began to see my own mother in a different light. When the Lord revealed that while she was wounded, her God-given mothering heart was still trying to function …

It was a dark and chilly January evening, somewhere in the early 2000’s. I found myself coming home from hanging out with my childhood friend. I remember walking through the front door, and wondering if any of my family really cared it was still my birthday. The front entryway was dark, with only a distant light from the connected kitchen and family room nearby. The conversational sounds from my siblings and Dad filled the air with a familiar and typical evening. I walked into the kitchen and found her on the floor, again, those same dull dark brown eyes looking up, staring deep into mine, almost as if to say “I’m sorry I hurt you again”. Her movement slow and uncoordinated, she tried to lift herself up, with little success. I watched as she fumbled around the appliances and tried to lift her heavy body onto her feet. She eventually did. She slurred her words as she pointed slowly, with what could be construed as a faint smile, to the debris of cake batter and frosting. In both my favorite color and flavor. Pink and Strawberry. She remembered my birthday.
…
Growing up, I can’t remember a long period of time where my mother was sober. I was born into what felt like insecurity and chaos. I didn’t know any better. My normal looked like a lot of good mixed with a whole lot of scary. As a child, I never understood why she would choose drugs over her own family. I couldn’t understand why we weren’t enough for her, why I wasn’t enough for her? That question would haunt me for many years as I began to create my own wounds I never thought would heal.

But the fascinating part about wounds is: if you take care of them, eventually they will heal. They may even turn into scars if they’re deep enough. But scars can be some of the most powerful reminders of lessons we have learned in life.

The most powerful scars of all are displayed on the hands and feet of Jesus Christ, what a beautiful thought. Reminders that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us (Romans 5:8)! The pain, suffering, and death that brought scars to our Lord are now eternal reminders of how much He loves us; of our eternal hope if we put our trust in Him.

When I stopped running away from Him and truly surrendered my life to Jesus Christ, He valiantly rescued me and set me free from all of my harbored guilt, shame, and fear of abandonment. He took me by the hand and walked me out of a serious pit of deception and misery. He took my open mother wound, sealed it with his blood, and made a beautiful scar. This scar no longer reminds me of what I lack, it reminds me of hope in a broken world. It reminds me that once I was lost, but now I am FOUND.

When Jesus heals, I believe He also reveals. What He revealed to me was a woman hurting. A woman damaged from her own wounds. A woman needing forgiveness, hope, and healing.

He showed me my own mother. A mother who, despite her own wounds and shortcomings, remembered her daughter’s birthday and wanted to make her feel special.

There isn’t a soul on earth too broken to receive Christ’s mercy and grace; Or a wound too deep to feel the healing power of the Holy Spirit.

He is waiting for you to call on Him to be your Lord and Savior; Our God, “who wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth.” 1 Timothy 2:4

If you would, please pray with me as I ask our loving Father to heal and bind up our wounds in Jesus’ name!

My Dearest Heavenly Father,
Thank you for Your saving grace and that through Your son, Jesus Christ, we may come BOLDLY to YOU! Lord, there are wounds so deep, especially this time of year during Mother’s Day. I pray that You would restore these precious hearts and let them know their true worth and purpose is found in the comfort and love of Jesus Christ. I pray we would all seek our validation and worth in who You say we are, and not who the world says we should be. I pray for a peace that would surpass ALL understanding this year on Mother’s Day and that we would all feel a hug from our Heavenly Father. Please teach us how to love, and how to Mother the way you designed us. It’s in your precious name I pray, Amen.

Today’s post was written by Traci Young, who is a contributor for the Deeper Still Devotional Blog. Traci calls Broomfield, Colorado home, and loves spending quality time with her husband, baby girl, and two red doodles.  She left the workforce to become a stay at home mom and sees it as her mission field! Traci serves on the Fallbrook, CA Deeper Still team.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you.