Taking Off My Armor

“Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” Ephesians 6:11

In 1 Samuel 17:38-39, we find a story of David about to face Goliath. It says this:

“Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them. ‘I cannot go in these,’ he said to Saul, ‘because I am not used to them.’ So he took them off.”

In the story of David and Goliath, David chose to take off the armor that Saul insisted would protect him. If David would have left on the armor that didn’t suit him, it would have hindered his ability to throw and he wouldn’t have been able to accomplish the mission God assigned him to do. Wearing armor we were not meant to wear will hinder who God created us to be.

David chose to take off the armor and trust that His God would protect him as he had faithfully done in the past. This choice of trusting God to protect rather than choosing self-protection led not only David to triumph, but also blessed all the Kingdom.

We were never meant to wear such heavy armor. We were meant to wear God’s armor of protection, not of our own making.

There have been times I have tried to protect myself with an armor that was unsuitable for me. Only this armor isn’t made of metal or steel and it isn’t visible with the naked eye, but it is heavy, nonetheless. Out of fear, there have been times, I have chosen to create a fortified wall that is hard to penetrate, but also heavy to carry around.

I doubt I’m the only one. If you are breathing air, you most likely have been hurt by another human being. These hurts when continuous over time can cause us to decide God must not be protecting us and so I must protect myself. What we don’t realize is the lie this is and the sin it invokes—sin of esteeming ourselves higher than others. Ouch. Yes, I realize that is a hard claim, but I am putting myself in there as well and I have done this and it is wrong and damaging to not only ourselves, but to the body of Christ.

The issue is that not only do these walls of armor protect, they also unwittingly keep us bound. This armor also keeps us from giving the gift of our true self to others, who desperately need what God has put inside of us–we all need the gifts God has entrusted in each other.

Ephesians 6:11 says, “Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” It is hard to wear two suits of armor, and only one really protects, the other is only hindering our ability to walk.

Friends, I am taking my armor off and I’m asking if you would be willing to do the same. We need each other and we need the gifts in you. We need to know you and we need your loving beautiful heart fully out there pumping in full blown capacity, not suited up and hindered by cumbersome metal.

Perhaps you want so badly to take off your armor, but fear clinches and it seems too risky. Today, we want to pray with you and together, let’s ask the Lord to help take off the armor and for the walls to come tumbling down. Maybe you need to forgive someone or many. Not everyone is trustworthy, but I promise you there are people God will bring into your life who are safe. God will protect you. Even when it seemed like He missed it, He never has left you and He will protect you.

Will you take a breath with me and then take off one piece of armor at a time, casting it all away as David did, trusting the Lord to go with Him. When you do, not only will you be victorious, but so will the Kingdom as you are free to be who God made you to be.

Your heart is too beautiful to be hidden by metal and surrounded by armor. The world needs your beautiful heart unhindered, beating and loving.

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for protecting me. Thank you that I have your armor, the armor of God, so I do not need to make my own armor or try to wear things that will only hinder my walk with you and others in the body of Christ. Lord, I forgive those who have hurt me and trust you to protect. Lord, I thank you that in you I live fully free, loving others, and trusting you. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

I No Longer Hate My Story

A few years ago I wrote a post entitled, I Hate My Story. I encourage you to read it. I read it again before I wrote this and it brought good tears to my eyes. It is about “forgiving God”.

For years I hated my story. Recently, a friend sent me a link to a new book called, When You Don’t Like Your Story by Sharon Jaynes. I haven’t read it, but it does sound good. When she sent it, I thought, “You know what, I don’t like my story and I doubt I ever will, but I don’t hate my story any longer.” I was so thankful for this prompt that revealed this new truth to me.

Earlier that same day I had sat with two people at different times as they shared very hard personal things happening in their lives. I was so thankful to be able to sit with these precious women and love on them.  As I contemplated this, I became thankful for my story. I am not glad about the decisions I made and if I had a do over, I would happily change a few scenes. But I no longer hate it.  Because of my story I have the capacity to sit in messy complicated places with others fully in grace—without judgement. It is a beautiful thing to be able to sit with someone and pour out grace after they have been rejected and shamed by others.

Our hard messy stories expand our capacity to walk in grace.

I now trust the Lord more than I ever have before. I have my abortion story, which I have told countless times now (I remember when God called me to tell it and how fearful I was). But that is only a part of my story. A lot of life has happened since I was in college—27 years of life (yikes, I just kind of told my age). Our life is made up of more than a single event. There is so much I could share and perhaps one day I will. But what I do know through it all is that my God continues to show up again and again and He is faithful. And the things the enemy may have meant for evil or to cause harm, the Lord continues to turn around and say, “No, this isn’t meant for harm, but it is meant for good and to take you into deeper relationship and deeper trust in Me.”

I still hate the sin. I hate that I won’t see my daughter lost to abortion until I get to heaven. I hate that I caused pain to people I love. I hate that others caused pain. Just like Jesus, I hate the sin, but I don’t hate the story. He is in the story.

Jesus hates sin and sin was the catalyst to the greatest story—the story of redemption. It is because of His story, that we can be ok with our story. He’s ok with our story—after all He approved the final edit.

He never approves of sin but we have free will and we have choices. What He does approve of is what He will turn around from it if we give Him the story and let Him finish it. It takes courage to turn our story over to Him for the final edits. We often think we can write a better story.

Will you listen to the Lord today? If you were like me and hate your story, He has something He wants to say:

My beloved daughter/son, will you give it to me? Will you give me your heartache, your pain, your suffering? Will you trust me with the final edits? Will you trust me to finish the story? Will you let go and surrender trusting in my goodness? I am trustworthy. Do you believe me? I know how hard this has been and the road you are walking seems too difficult, steep, and treacherous for you. I won’t let you fall. Hold my hand. I’m holding onto you. I always have been. I see you. I know you hate your story, but that is only because you haven’t seen the ending. Let me write the ending for you. Let me lead you. The things on this path will lead you to a beautiful place full of joy and acceptance and glory. You already see the fruit of the steps you’ve taken with me. Keep walking with me as I weave a beautiful story of redemption, grace, and mercy. The final edit will be worth it.

Dear Heavenly Father, we place all the beauty, pain, heartache, wrong choices, every part of our story in your hands. We trust your ever faithful fingers to hold on tightly as we let go and let you write the rest of the story. Lord, may none of it be wasted. Use it all for your glory, every page, every word. We trust every stroke of your heavenly pen dipped in the blood of Jesus Christ to turn our mess into a beautiful story of redemption and grace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

God, You’re on Mute! {Guest Post}

Today’s Devotional Blog is written by Ric Sun, a Deeper Still team member and missionary. Thank you Ric for sharing your heart with us today! ““Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” – Psalm 139:11-12 12 months ago I (Ric) sat down at my laptop to write a final newsletter for 2019. Without having a clue what 2020 was in store, I along with my family was filled with so much energy and ready to embark on a new and God-given journey to New Zealand in July. A year later today, after attending countless farewell parties and renewing the leasing for numerous times, we are still here in Dallas. I am sitting at the same place, typing on the same laptop, jumping into one zoom meeting after another and getting used to have people shout at me, “Hey you are on mute!”  “You are on mute!” If you have been working from home or hosting meetings since the lockdown in March, you are probably no stranger to this phrase. People have gotten accustomed to hearing it at least once during every Zoom meeting and adopted the new meeting skill to shout and wave at the screen, “Hey you are on mute!” In fact, this quote has been voted as top 10 quotes of 2020 in New Zealand. As we are wrapping up a long hard year of 2020 full of death and suffering, many cannot wait for this year to be over and others especially Christians could hardly make sense of God’s sovereignty amid a series of national crisis including wild fire, racial injustice, election and global pandemic. It can seem like God is distant and silent from all the tragedies and animosities throughout the year. It pains our heart to shout and wave at God, “Hey God, you are on mute!” This “unprecedented” year has reminded me of those dark and chaotic years between the prophecies of Malachi and the coming of the Messiah. These years are called “silent years” because there were no inspired words from God during this time. For 400 years, it seems like God is on mute! Not only did God click the mute button, but also turn off His camera. God went silent. God was nowhere to be found. God seems to have forgotten His people and His promises like what we experienced in 2020. But was God on mute? By no means! Instead, God was doing what He does best to work in the dark that far exceeded the reach of our imagination. Jesus, our long-awaited Messiah arrived at the darkest and the most unexpected time. By the grace of God with His steadfast love and faithfulness, God unmuted Himself to bring His kingdom to earth by sending His Son to die on the cross as ransom to pay the price for our sin and death. Our God is the miracle worker to turn darkness into light and death into life. Hallelujah! And this year was no exception. In the midst of the tragedy and uncertainty, our family was graced and privileged to witness the glory and faithfulness of God shining brightly and powerfully throughout the year. In the end of every year, it is our joyful tradition to reflect the year and recount the blessings of God. So we invite you to join us to recount the unmuted blessings of God’s faithfulness and to celebrate what God has done in 2020 and what God will do in 2021.    We would love to hear one of your blessings from the past year in the comments!   Father, we thank you that even when you are silent, you are faithful. We thank you that you are our trusted Father. Lord, we ask to be able to see you at work around us and hear your still small voice leading and guiding us in the right way. Nothing is darkness to you, we thank you that you know the way and lead us by Your never failing light. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.   Ric Sun is a minister of the gospel, and lover of the word. In July 2007, God took hold of his heart through a mission trip in Taiwan where his soul was captured by the immense love of God that has radically and eternally changed his life. In 2010, he married his college sweetheart, Jocelyn and now they have three children, Kyra (2011), Liora (2014), and Zion (2017). Ric and Jocelyn have been a part of the ministry Apartment Life to serve as local missionaries in Houston for two years. He served in Youth Ministry at West Houston Chinese Church from 2011-2016 and Engage and College Ministry at Asian American Baptist Church in Dallas from 2017-2020 while studying in Dallas Theological Seminary, where he graduated in 2019. Ric is passionate about Jesus, Tae Kwon Do (black belt instructor), boba tea (Taiwanese dessert), evangelism, expository preaching, equipping the next generation, involving cross-culture mission and post-aborted ministry.    “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me — watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  – Matthew 11:28-30 (Message)

Hope is a Person

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him.” Romans 15:13

One of my favorite things about Christmas is seeing all the lights…a reminder that the Light of the world is among us.

This week for the first time in 800 years, the Christmas star (actually 2 planets), as seen by the Wise Men, was out on display for the world to see. It was beautiful! Just like it is in paintings trumpeting as David proclaimed in Psalm 19, “The heavens declare the glory of God”! A light in the darkness, shouting joy, peace, and goodwill towards men! A glimmer of hope in the dark of the world. Amazing!

God is a God of hope and He will remind us of His presence with us.

He speaks in a variety of ways, through stars, through lights, and even Christmas ornaments. My favorite ornaments have a reserved seat front and center on my Christmas tree. The lights reflect off the ornaments, as a reminder of His glory. These special VIP ornaments are comprised of baby pictures, wedding ornaments, and a beautiful pure white cross boldly proclaiming the word “Hope”.

This Christmas in particular, the cross displaying the word hope needed to be in the center, and it is what I see every time I look at the tree…focusing on truth, the truth of hope reflected by His light.

Romans 15:13 is a verse that has been a steady reminder that God is a God of hope, with a promise of joy and peace as I trust in Him. The problem is I don’t always trust in Him. And when I don’t, hope fades along with the joy and peace promised.

How do we, as believers, after all we are “believers”, believe? How do we trust and believe that God is who He says He is and He is trustworthy?

Hope takes faith. Loss is all around us and in our homes in close heart wrenching ways. If you personally are not grieving, most likely, someone you know is grieving in some way.

Holidays stir up all kinds of emotions. For many, family dynamics or lack of family are a cause of disillusionment. And this year, many cannot be with family for reasons that seem altogether unfair.

I want to, as your friend, encourage you to allow yourself to grieve. Take a breath. Sit. Inhale and recognize and acknowledge your pain. Then, I want to ask you to go one more step in faith. Faith steps toward hope. Look to your side. See you are not alone. Hope is a Person. And Hope sits with you. Look at the Person of Hope and tell Him your pain and then trust Him with it. Exhale as you give Him your pain in faith and trust. Now look to your other side. Someone else is hurting. Someone else is suffering the same. Step in faith toward that person, bringing Hope as a carrier of the presence of Christ, His light to others.  

He is in you…the God of hope.

Hope is a Person, who came in the form of a baby as a Savior to the lost, hurting, and broken. He is the Light in the darkness and He is found in us, and with us. He is right with us, more bright and more beautiful than the star, and not millions of miles away. Right here…Immanuel.  Jesus, we need you. God of hope, come and fill us will all joy and peace as we trust in you. In Your precious and glorious name Jesus, we pray. Amen.

MERRY CHRISTMAS BELOVED!!!

Sitting with Jesus {Guest Post}

Today’s post is written by Becky Crenshaw, a dear blogger and speaker friend.  This post is from a series written by Becky on Advent.  Thank you Becky for sharing with us today! 

“…who seated herself at the Lord’s feet.” Luke 10:39

I love all versions of Scripture. Nothing thrills me more than to take one passage and compare it across multiple spectrums of translations. But my FAVORITE always trends towards the Amplified Bible. There is something so exhaustive in nature about this version. With a “double-clicking”, if you will, of each word, it takes a 3-D look into a passage in a way that resonates with me deeply.

That being said, the Amplified version of this little phrase just melts me.

Mary “seated herself at the Lord’s feet.” Mmmmm. What do you notice? What does this look like? Can you picture it?

Mary made a choice. Jesus didn’t ask her to sit down. Mary saw an opportunity and took it. “If that is where Jesus is, then that is where I want to be, too.”

And where did she sit? Well, where a disciple sits, of course. At Jesus’ feet. Mary took her appointed place as a student of her Lord, making every effort to learn from her teacher.

And let’s just talk about feet for a second. We know that the Mary’s of the Bible were all about His feet, right? Just back in Luke 7 we see Mary (arguably by scholars our same Mary of Bethany) break open a very expensive Alabaster Jar of perfume to anoint his dusty feet. So whether it is the same Mary or not, the picture is still the same. Being at the feet of Jesus is a picture of worship, learning and humility.

So, sweet reader, how on earth does this translate to us in current day, Christmas rush, smart phone age, media indulgent America?

The answer is still the same. “Mary seated HERSELF.”

The choice is the “how.” Jesus is the choice we can make over and again. We can choose our place of worship, humility and learning every moment of every day. Emmanuel, God is with us, all day long.

We don’t have to wait for a surprise supper with Jesus. The Omnipresent is as much with you as He is with me – if we acknowledge Him or not.

LET’S SEAT OURSELVES by choice today and all Advent long.

Choosing What Is Better:

• I am sure you have heard the coined phrase “Treat. Yo. Self.” at least once before!… As a believer, I encourage you to “Seat. Yo. Self.” (Couldn’t resist.). What does “seating yourself” look like today? (For example: grabbing your journal and writing out a prayer…. reading through a few Psalms and meditating on the meaning…. shutting off all the noise and sitting quietly – acknowledging God’s presence.)
• The word Disciple by definition means “a follower or student of a teacher.” Have you ever really thought of yourself as a student of Jesus? Well, as Christians that is exactly what we are! Students of our Lord. If you have never viewed yourself as such, how does this change your approach to Him? What do student’s of Jesus do? What do you need to learn from your teacher today? Write out your responses to these questions in your journal.
• What hinders you from seating yourself at Jesus’ Feet? What obstacles stand in the way of you seeing yourself as a student? Take this to the Lord in prayer and ask Him to help you overcome these hindrances.

Becky Crenshaw and her husband, Brent, live in Tennessee with their three, football-crazed and energetic boys.  Three children of which a doctor said she would never have. After losing her mother to cancer, Becky now has the great honor of caring for her 92-year-old grandmother, Ethel.

Brent and Becky served on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ at the University of Tennessee for nine years, discipling college students and sharing the Gospel across campus. They are currently ministering to a new demographic in their city.  Brent serves as the Young Adult Pastor of their church, where they lead pre-marriage classes and help post-graduates plug into community with others their own age and grow in their own relationship with Christ.

To read more posts from Becky, you can visit her blog site at www.beckycrenshaw.com

Churching

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4

Today I was texting a friend of mine who tested positive for Covid last week to check on her. She is more than a friend, she is a spiritual mom and prayer mentor for me as well. She’s in one word…amazing. She sent me a text back that read:

“Improving…Thanks for churching…Gaining strength.”

“Thanks for churching” caught my eye. I immediately knew it was one of those funny iphone word corrects for “checking” but something about the word “churching” just seemed appropriate. I’ve never heard church used as a verb before but I like it!

In Psalm 23:4 we read, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”

There have been times when I was in a valley, either physically, spiritually or emotionally, and there were people whom the Lord sent to be His hands and feet for me.

I remember a time when I was very sick, it was several years ago and I was sick for a couple of weeks…bad, couldn’t get out of bed, felt like I could die kind of bad. There was a friend who churched by bringing dinner for my family. There are many examples like this.

Friends have sat with me in hard places, listening, praying with me, crying with me in the middle of emotional turmoil and pain.

This is the body of Christ at work and it is needed and it is indeed churching.

Jesus churched.

Jesus was never afraid to step into the dark places, the hidden sin, the pain and suffering of His people. And we want and need to follow His example. He is with us in the valley, in our lowest points. Because of that truth, we can fear no evil for He is with us, His rod and staff comfort us.

Jesus often sends tangible evidence of His presence through others. When He seems quiet, look at the different ways He may be gently whispering, I’m here.

Perhaps you are one who is the valley today. If you are, please know you are not alone. I know what it is like to be in a valley and feel stuck. I know what it is like to want desperately to climb out of the valley, digging my heals in seemingly in vain just making tread marks in the dirt. I know what it is like to climb one step at a time, thankful for each time I felt more footing and the light at the top seemed to grow closer with each step.

Today, whether you are in a valley or feel on top of a mountain, I want to exhort you today to look around and where you might church. If you are in a valley, helping another often lifts us a step up as well.

Beloved, like Jesus, we need to be willing to be with our sisters and brothers in the valley, sitting, listening, praying…churching.

Jesus never meant for us to be alone in the valley nor feel alone. The Church was meant to come alongside and to walk with others in the valley and not fear, giving comfort. What joy it brings when someone is willing to sit in our pain with us, knowing we are not alone. What a kindness this is. This, my friends, is churching.

Heavenly Father, we thank you that you never leave us nor forsake us. Even in the valleys and darkest moments, you are there with us. Lord, I pray that You would show us how to be the Church and that we would be mindful of those around us. May the world see and say, “Thanks for churching!” In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you.

When Love Looks Different than Expected

“Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister Mary and Lazarus. So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was. “ John 11:5-6

One of the most instrumental words in John 11:5-6 is the connector word, “So”. Jesus loved Martha and Mary and Lazarus, so he stayed. This is powerful when we break it down. It was because Jesus loved them that He didn’t go to Lazarus right away. He seemed to be late, or to not care that Lazarus was sick or didn’t really understand how serious it was. I mean Jesus should have been there…right? Except, He loved them so He stayed where He was and didn’t go heal Lazarus right away.

There is much mystery we don’t always understand. It makes no sense for Jesus to wait. Why would He let Lazarus die? Didn’t He care about His friend’s physical condition and didn’t He care about his sisters’ broken hearts? All hope seemed lost.

If you aren’t familiar with this passage, I encourage you to go to John 11 and read it.

After he arrived at his friends’ house where Lazarus had been in the tomb already 4 days, Jesus said something extraordinary.

“I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?” John 11:25-26

When things die in our lives (this could be anything from relationships, dreams, hopes, expectations, etc), we can feel like Mary and Martha did: disappointed, disillusioned, baffled, uncertain.  Basically saying, “Jesus, I don’t understand. Where were you? Why didn’t you come and rescue. Why did you allow this to happen?”

His answer. Because of love.

In a Bible study I am currently doing, Lisa-Jo Baker asks us to complete this statement:

“Lord, if You had been here, my _______________ wouldn’t have died.”

Jesus loves you and He weeps with you, grieving with you over whatever it was that died. Then full of hope, Jesus says, “I am the resurrection and the life…Do you believe?”

Do you believe He can resurrect? Do you believe He can make all things new? Do you believe He redeems all things?

Like Lazarus, perhaps there is a dream, hope, expectation, unhealthy relationship, that had to die in order to see the power and glory of His resurrection.  

Jesus is asking today, “Do you believe this?”

Father, we thank you that You love us so much that you will wait to rescue. We thank you that you are never late and you are never careless with our hearts or unaware of our situation. You are very much involved and know all things. Thank you for rescuing us in your perfect timing and resurrecting the things we assumed were dead. Thank you for restoring hope, resurrecting, and bringing life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Shame and Worthiness

“I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called.” Ephesians 4:1

Funny how an event that happened early in our formative years can have lasting impact. Words have power, and shame showered on us from others leave us wet with a belief system rooted in falsehoods.

It is important to note that much of the shame we carry isn’t founded in truth. Shame has to do with identity, and the enemy wants nothing more than for us to be weighted wet with shame. Perhaps that is where the expression “like a wet blanket” was formed. Shame is a robber, stealing energy, calling, and confidence.

Shame places us outside of our identity in Christ and who we are as the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, fully in right standing with our Creator God.

And we need to cast off that wet mess and tell it to go.

A couple years ago, I remember a specific time when feelings of unworthiness flooded my mind drowning out the truth of my worthiness being in Christ alone. This happened right before I served on a ministry team.

How often I had prayed the verse in Ephesians 4:1, “That I would walk worthy of the calling to which I was called.” Somehow though I never felt worthy no matter how straight I walked.

Sharing with a trusted friend how I felt unworthy, he questioned, “Have you done something or sinned that would make you feel unworthy?” In all sincerity, I couldn’t think of anything specific. It was just a general feeling of being less-than.

Over the last many months, the Lord has been showing me the root of this lie and how shame put on me by others in my youth led to social anxiety, low self-esteem, and fears of rejection.  However, I now am seeing how this “less-than” or “not enough” feeling is no more than a ghost, not based on truth.

In the light of truth, shame loses power, dries up, and fear withers.

The Lord gave me a different interpretation of Ephesians 4:1, as He has told me to “Walk in my worthiness.” –that our worthiness is founded on right standing in Christ, and not based on what we do or don’t do.  Our best works are as filthy rags compared to His glory. Most women who have had abortions feel unworthy. Our works do not impact our worthiness.

Instead of wearing a wet blanket of shame, we are clothed in a robe of righteousness (Isaiah 61:10). This is the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Today, will you throw off the old shame garment, and allow Jesus to place a beautiful clean white light robe on you?

Father, we thank You for Your Word and Your Truth. Today, we choose to cast off shame and allow You to place Your robe of righteousness on us. Help us to walk in our worthiness and believe these truths of who You say we are in Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you.

The Truth Around How Abortion Impacts Lives

“Then God said, ‘Let there be light’; and there was light.” Genesis 1:3

In the beginning, the earth was without form, and void; and darkness covered the earth. Darkness has always been since the beginning. There is nothing new under the sun even before God spoke the sun into existence. In the darkness, the Spirit of God hovered. In a flash, both in moment and in vision, everything changed.

In the womb, there is only darkness. The Spirit of God hovers, creating in mysterious ways our finite minds cannot understand and He has always been and always created before time. It is too wonderful for us to know and how can our minds comprehend?

God speaks and there is light. God breathes and there is life.

Darkness is not unfamiliar to our God. He is well aware of the darkness and how to maneuver and create and transform the darkness into life.

“If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall fall on me,’ even the night shall be light about me; indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You.” Psalm 139:11-12.

When God spoke light, the darkness was still there. There is both light and darkness, and until the day of Jesus’ return and the day He gloriously reigns, darkness will be.

Darkness deceives. When I was small I was afraid of the dark and thought there was a pirate in my room, on my closet door. Funny how the mind works. I slept with the light on for years and interestingly, the pirate never came into my room when the light was turned on.

There is a darkness out there, deceiving, sharing opinion as truth. Turning down the light one degree at a time wanting us not to notice the incremental change. A darkness that claims life isn’t valuable inside the womb and in fact, we aren’t even sure it is valuable outside the womb. If a life is an inconvenience or stands in the way of my “happiness” then it is harmful to me and worthy of riddance.

What a horrendous lie which has aided and contributed to the devaluation and annihilation of people groups, genocide, abortion, population control and other evils in this world. Any stand that is against humanity, created in the image of God, is evil.

We are in a battle for life, light, and truth, and there is hope. The weapons in this battle aren’t traditional, but they are powerful. Two of these weapons are our testimony and prayer. At first these weapons may seem small—in likeness to the boy who only had two fish and five loaves.  However, these two weapons are powerful in the spirit, and when flung create massive holes in the darkness. “What good will one testimony do?”, you might ask. The first one starts the crack, and all we need is a crack for the light to enter. Then as countless others share and we join together, one becomes a thousand and then an army is formed, standing strong with thousands to millions of candles burning brightly. Fighting together, each testimony and prayer weakens the enemy’s hold and light overtakes the darkness.

God spoke and there was. His words brought light. Words can bring light, and light begets life.

Today we stand against the lie that abortion doesn’t impact lives. In a moment of darkness, I made a decision to have an abortion. This decision impacted me in devasting ways. I went down a path of self-destructive behaviors in attempts to numb shame, voices of condemnation, and lies of unworthiness of anything beautiful and lovely. I was locked up, unable to escape from my prison. Even after I came back to Christ five years later, I felt unworthy of Christian friendships. I questioned if I could be a good mother and heard suggestions as condemnation. Abortion impacted my marriage, my relationships, my mothering, my confidence, my self-worth.

This is only a glimpse into my story and the despair and hopelessness I felt after having an abortion.

Jesus was and is the only One who can break through that kind of darkness. He knocked, and with one knock, He spoke, and the lies began to crumble, the prison doors opened, and light penetrated the dark.

Thankfully, the Lord has freed and healed me only by grace through the blood of our Lord Jesus. For twenty-two years I have been on a healing journey with the Lord, gently and tenderly leading me into deeper and deeper places.

I know firsthand the pain of abortion, and I also know through working with hundreds of women and hearing their stories, the holistic harm of abortion.

Abortion is a lie and as the truth is shared, pieces of darkness shatter and fall, and the Spirit of God hovers saying, “Let there be light.”

To read more of my story, you can go to: http://livingfreeinhim.blogspot.com/p/my-story.html

To hear other testimonies and stories, you can go to:https://www.godeeperstill.org/about-us/testimonies.html

Together we can bring light.

Today’s post was written by Sue Molitor. Sue works with the ministry of Deeper Still in International Relations. She lives in beautiful East Tennessee and loves spending time with her husband and 3 kids. She enjoys reading, coffee with friends, and taking long walks. She has been writing for the Deeper Still Devotions for 7 years and loves to encourage others and cheer them on towards finding freedom and healing.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you.

National Day of Remembrance for Aborted Children

Today is National Day of Remembrance for Aborted Children.

Today we honor each of these lives and recognize the humanity each one represented. These were humans–full of destiny and purpose.

As we reflect on these lives lost, let us also remember those who grieve a decision made in perhaps a moment of crisis that left a scar of a life-long regret.

Fr. Frank Pavone wrote the prayer below. Would you take a moment of silence to honor these precious lives and pray for those who have lost a child to abortion.

Lord of all Life,

You have entrusted us to the care of one another, and called us to be one Body in Christ. You call us to rejoice with those who rejoice, and to weep with those who weep. Hear our prayer today for our brothers and sisters who have lost children to abortion. Help us to understand the pain that is in their hearts, and to be a living sign to them of your welcome, your mercy, and your healing. Help them to undergo with courage the process of grief and the journey of healing. Never allow them to feel alone; always refresh them with the presence of Your Spirit., and of their brothers and sisters in Christ. Console them with the sure hope that you love and care for their children. Give them new strength, that even while they grieve what they have lost, they may look forward to all the good that you still have in store for them. Lord of healing and hope, give us all the forgiveness of our sins, and the joy of your salvation. We ask this in the name of Jesus the Lord. Amen.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you.