Shame and Worthiness

“I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called.” Ephesians 4:1

Funny how an event that happened early in our formative years can have lasting impact. Words have power, and shame showered on us from others leave us wet with a belief system rooted in falsehoods.

It is important to note that much of the shame we carry isn’t founded in truth. Shame has to do with identity, and the enemy wants nothing more than for us to be weighted wet with shame. Perhaps that is where the expression “like a wet blanket” was formed. Shame is a robber, stealing energy, calling, and confidence.

Shame places us outside of our identity in Christ and who we are as the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, fully in right standing with our Creator God.

And we need to cast off that wet mess and tell it to go.

A couple years ago, I remember a specific time when feelings of unworthiness flooded my mind drowning out the truth of my worthiness being in Christ alone. This happened right before I served on a ministry team.

How often I had prayed the verse in Ephesians 4:1, “That I would walk worthy of the calling to which I was called.” Somehow though I never felt worthy no matter how straight I walked.

Sharing with a trusted friend how I felt unworthy, he questioned, “Have you done something or sinned that would make you feel unworthy?” In all sincerity, I couldn’t think of anything specific. It was just a general feeling of being less-than.

Over the last many months, the Lord has been showing me the root of this lie and how shame put on me by others in my youth led to social anxiety, low self-esteem, and fears of rejection.  However, I now am seeing how this “less-than” or “not enough” feeling is no more than a ghost, not based on truth.

In the light of truth, shame loses power, dries up, and fear withers.

The Lord gave me a different interpretation of Ephesians 4:1, as He has told me to “Walk in my worthiness.” –that our worthiness is founded on right standing in Christ, and not based on what we do or don’t do.  Our best works are as filthy rags compared to His glory. Most women who have had abortions feel unworthy. Our works do not impact our worthiness.

Instead of wearing a wet blanket of shame, we are clothed in a robe of righteousness (Isaiah 61:10). This is the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Today, will you throw off the old shame garment, and allow Jesus to place a beautiful clean white light robe on you?

Father, we thank You for Your Word and Your Truth. Today, we choose to cast off shame and allow You to place Your robe of righteousness on us. Help us to walk in our worthiness and believe these truths of who You say we are in Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you.

The Truth Around How Abortion Impacts Lives

“Then God said, ‘Let there be light’; and there was light.” Genesis 1:3

In the beginning, the earth was without form, and void; and darkness covered the earth. Darkness has always been since the beginning. There is nothing new under the sun even before God spoke the sun into existence. In the darkness, the Spirit of God hovered. In a flash, both in moment and in vision, everything changed.

In the womb, there is only darkness. The Spirit of God hovers, creating in mysterious ways our finite minds cannot understand and He has always been and always created before time. It is too wonderful for us to know and how can our minds comprehend?

God speaks and there is light. God breathes and there is life.

Darkness is not unfamiliar to our God. He is well aware of the darkness and how to maneuver and create and transform the darkness into life.

“If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall fall on me,’ even the night shall be light about me; indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You.” Psalm 139:11-12.

When God spoke light, the darkness was still there. There is both light and darkness, and until the day of Jesus’ return and the day He gloriously reigns, darkness will be.

Darkness deceives. When I was small I was afraid of the dark and thought there was a pirate in my room, on my closet door. Funny how the mind works. I slept with the light on for years and interestingly, the pirate never came into my room when the light was turned on.

There is a darkness out there, deceiving, sharing opinion as truth. Turning down the light one degree at a time wanting us not to notice the incremental change. A darkness that claims life isn’t valuable inside the womb and in fact, we aren’t even sure it is valuable outside the womb. If a life is an inconvenience or stands in the way of my “happiness” then it is harmful to me and worthy of riddance.

What a horrendous lie which has aided and contributed to the devaluation and annihilation of people groups, genocide, abortion, population control and other evils in this world. Any stand that is against humanity, created in the image of God, is evil.

We are in a battle for life, light, and truth, and there is hope. The weapons in this battle aren’t traditional, but they are powerful. Two of these weapons are our testimony and prayer. At first these weapons may seem small—in likeness to the boy who only had two fish and five loaves.  However, these two weapons are powerful in the spirit, and when flung create massive holes in the darkness. “What good will one testimony do?”, you might ask. The first one starts the crack, and all we need is a crack for the light to enter. Then as countless others share and we join together, one becomes a thousand and then an army is formed, standing strong with thousands to millions of candles burning brightly. Fighting together, each testimony and prayer weakens the enemy’s hold and light overtakes the darkness.

God spoke and there was. His words brought light. Words can bring light, and light begets life.

Today we stand against the lie that abortion doesn’t impact lives. In a moment of darkness, I made a decision to have an abortion. This decision impacted me in devasting ways. I went down a path of self-destructive behaviors in attempts to numb shame, voices of condemnation, and lies of unworthiness of anything beautiful and lovely. I was locked up, unable to escape from my prison. Even after I came back to Christ five years later, I felt unworthy of Christian friendships. I questioned if I could be a good mother and heard suggestions as condemnation. Abortion impacted my marriage, my relationships, my mothering, my confidence, my self-worth.

This is only a glimpse into my story and the despair and hopelessness I felt after having an abortion.

Jesus was and is the only One who can break through that kind of darkness. He knocked, and with one knock, He spoke, and the lies began to crumble, the prison doors opened, and light penetrated the dark.

Thankfully, the Lord has freed and healed me only by grace through the blood of our Lord Jesus. For twenty-two years I have been on a healing journey with the Lord, gently and tenderly leading me into deeper and deeper places.

I know firsthand the pain of abortion, and I also know through working with hundreds of women and hearing their stories, the holistic harm of abortion.

Abortion is a lie and as the truth is shared, pieces of darkness shatter and fall, and the Spirit of God hovers saying, “Let there be light.”

To read more of my story, you can go to: http://livingfreeinhim.blogspot.com/p/my-story.html

To hear other testimonies and stories, you can go to:https://www.godeeperstill.org/about-us/testimonies.html

Together we can bring light.

Today’s post was written by Sue Molitor. Sue works with the ministry of Deeper Still in International Relations. She lives in beautiful East Tennessee and loves spending time with her husband and 3 kids. She enjoys reading, coffee with friends, and taking long walks. She has been writing for the Deeper Still Devotions for 7 years and loves to encourage others and cheer them on towards finding freedom and healing.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you.

National Day of Remembrance for Aborted Children

Today is National Day of Remembrance for Aborted Children.

Today we honor each of these lives and recognize the humanity each one represented. These were humans–full of destiny and purpose.

As we reflect on these lives lost, let us also remember those who grieve a decision made in perhaps a moment of crisis that left a scar of a life-long regret.

Fr. Frank Pavone wrote the prayer below. Would you take a moment of silence to honor these precious lives and pray for those who have lost a child to abortion.

Lord of all Life,

You have entrusted us to the care of one another, and called us to be one Body in Christ. You call us to rejoice with those who rejoice, and to weep with those who weep. Hear our prayer today for our brothers and sisters who have lost children to abortion. Help us to understand the pain that is in their hearts, and to be a living sign to them of your welcome, your mercy, and your healing. Help them to undergo with courage the process of grief and the journey of healing. Never allow them to feel alone; always refresh them with the presence of Your Spirit., and of their brothers and sisters in Christ. Console them with the sure hope that you love and care for their children. Give them new strength, that even while they grieve what they have lost, they may look forward to all the good that you still have in store for them. Lord of healing and hope, give us all the forgiveness of our sins, and the joy of your salvation. We ask this in the name of Jesus the Lord. Amen.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you.

Days of Deeper {Guest Post}

 

Today’s post is written by Becky Crenshaw, a dear blogger and speaker friend.  This post is from a series written by Becky on 30 Days of Deeper.  Thank you Becky for sharing with us today! 

 

This morning, I am already in a tug of war.

Upon waking, I am battling my thought life and hearing the enemy whisper lies to me. Trying so hard to convince me that I am not a good enough mom. Not a good enough friend. Not a good enough wife. Not a good enough Christian.

Just not good enough.

He is tricky, that enemy of ours. He rarely comes to us by way of an obvious evil and dark force. No, it is usually extremely sly and serpent-like. Slithering his way into our thoughts and trying to steal our worth.

Telling us “we aren’t enough” is one of his most effective patterns because if he can get our thinking then the rest is cake. Our emotions and actions are birthed in our thought-life and our day goes to pot within a mili-second.

Good news is, folks, we don’t have to be good enough because Jesus already is.  And I am going with Him.

So let’s get ahead of our adversary this morning with a little refresher on the REAL US found in Christ.  Read these over and say them out loud. 

• I am born of God, and the evil one – the devil – can not touch me. 1 John 5:18
• I am a child of God and I will resemble Christ when He returns 1 John 3:1,2
• I am a partaker of Christ, I share in His life (Heb 3:14)
• I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling (Her 3:1)
• I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved (Col 3:12, 1 Thes 1:4)
• I am a son of light and not of darkness (1 Thes 5:5)
• I am a new creation (2 For 5:17)
• I am a temple, a dwelling place of God. His Spirit and His life dwell in me. (1 Cor 3:16, 6:19)
• I am united to the Lord and one in spirit with Him (1 Col 6:17)
• I am reconciled to God and I am a minister of reconciliation. (2 Col 5:18,19)
• I am God’s workmanship – His handiwork born anew in Christ to do His work. (Eph 2:10)

LORD, THIS IS HOW WE FIGHT OUR BATTLES!!! WE CLAIM THIS TRUTH! WE WORSHIP YOU! WE WILL NOT BELIEVE LIES TODAY!  YOU LOVE US! YOU ARE ENTHRALLED WITH US!  WE THANK YOU AND SURRENDER OUR LIVES TO YOU!

IN JESUS NAME! AMEM!

Reflections:

1. Of all these truths, which two mean the most to you TODAY?
2. What is going on in your life that make these so important right now?
3. Our Christian life is a continual “casting down lies and replacing with Truth” process. Take a journal and pen out lies that consistently come against you. Out from the lie, write one a Truth to combat this thought. Next time the lie comes against you, REMEMBER THIS.

 

Becky Crenshaw and her husband, Brent, live in Tennessee with their three, football-crazed and energetic boys.  Three children of which a doctor said she would never have. After losing her mother to cancer, Becky now has the great honor of caring for her 92-year-old grandmother, Ethel.

Brent and Becky served on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ at the University of Tennessee for nine years, discipling college students and sharing the Gospel across campus. They are currently ministering to a new demographic in their city.  Brent serves as the Young Adult Pastor of their church, where they lead pre-marriage classes and help post-graduates plug into community with others their own age and grow in their own relationship with Christ.

To read more posts from Becky, you can visit her blog site at www.beckycrenshaw.com

When God Asks a Question

And there he went into a cave, and spent the night in that place; and behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and He said to him, ‘What are you doing here, Elijah’”? 1 Kings 19:9

When God asks a question, it isn’t because He doesn’t know the answer. So why does God, the One who knows all things from beginning to end, ask questions?

It isn’t for His benefit, but for ours. The questions He asks are to help us understand ourselves.

When reading in 1 Kings 19, there was something I hadn’t noticed before. God asked Elijah the same question twice. When God says something twice, it could be for emphasis or it could be that He wants to confirm and give assurance that it is Him speaking. When God asked Elijah the question, “What are you doing here?”, Elijah answered:

“I have been very zealous for the Lord God of hosts; for the children of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your alters, and killed Your prophets with the sword. I alone am left; and they seek to take my life.”

The backdrop of this story is fascinating and if you have a moment, go to 1 Kings 18:20 to 1 Kings 19:21 to read it. In short, Elijah had just called down fire from heaven, killed 450 prophets of Baal, totally humiliated the enemy and an evil tyrannical queen, and then ran a marathon to Jezreel. This man had to have been exhausted. We should never face an enemy hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. There is no doubt, Elijah was all four. And so when faced with the threat being destroyed by Jezebel, it was more than he could handle. Any other day it wouldn’t have phased him, but that day… it did, and he responded uncharacteristically in defeat and despair and ran to hide in a cave.

This is where Elijah was when God asked him, “What are you doing here?”

Has there ever been a time in your life when God has asked you, “What are you doing here?” Maybe you have been through a very difficult situation and have been hiding or not being the person God intended for you to be. Or maybe you’ve sinned or responded poorly to a situation and you feel defeated and the enemy has you believing there is no hope, that you are alone, and God couldn’t possibly use you now.

If this is you, God is asking, “What are you doing here?” This isn’t the place God has for you to be.

The enemy is shrewd and starts with a small lie getting us off one degree. But one degree over time equals a far distance from where God called us to.

God has called each and every one of us.

If we aren’t going in the direction of our calling or living in our calling, then maybe we’re off course.

Abortion is one of those sins the enemy uses to keep us living in a cave believing we are alone and unfit for use in the Kingdom.

If this is you today or there is another sin or situation in your life that the enemy has used to keep you believing you are defeated and unworthy of Kingdom things, today, hear the voice of the Lord gently and lovingly saying, “What are you doing here,________.”

And then listen to words of the Lord as He directs and guides you into the next steps He has for you. The very next thing the Lord did for Elijah was remind him that he is not alone. The Lord God extinguished the lies of the enemy and built up his servant with truth.

When God asks us a question, it is for our introspection and reflection, and to give us confidence in our ability to hear.

Wherever you are today, be reminded, God is with you. He is for you. He asks the question, “What are you doing here?” as a course correction. His plan is for you to do great Kingdom exploits, and be used mightily as you follow His leading and direction out of the cave and into your calling.

Father God, we thank you that you lead us out of caves and into our callings. Lord, we pray for every person reading this or attending a retreat that has bought into the lies of the enemy that have been intended to defeat or destroy. Lord, we want to be where you want us to be. Lead us in your way everlasting, give us strength, and fill us with hope. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Today’s post was written by Sue Molitor. Sue works with the ministry of Deeper Still in International Relations. She lives in beautiful East Tennessee and loves spending time with her husband and 3 kids. She enjoys reading, coffee with friends, and taking long walks. She has been writing for the Deeper Still Devotions for 7 years and loves to encourage others and cheer them on towards finding freedom and healing.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you. 

 

 

 

 

Scandalous Grace

“Then Jesus said to them, ‘All of you will be made to stumble because of Me this night, for it is written: I will strike the Shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’  

Peter answered and said to Him, ‘Even if all are made to stumble because of You, I will never be made to stumble.’” Matthew 26:31,33 

My heart swelled with delight as I picked up the phone to dial a friend to ask her to help with something in ministry, and it was no small ask. I knew Jesus had told me to ask her and so I called with expectation and joy, beaming to give this gift she would love. 

Before I could extend the invitation, my friend began to share some hard things she was going through, places of deep pain, and confession of sin in her life. Shame spilled over into her words as she shared hurts, heartaches, and bared all in brokenness.  

In the middle of her sharing, I heard in my spirit the Lord speak, “I haven’t changed my mind.” With relief, I waited until she was done sharing all she needed to share. After extending love and grace and praying with her, I leaned into the question the Lord asked me to ask her.  I sensed joy pressing out, knowing how kind the Lord was in asking for her to join him THIS DAY, this day that she would share hidden sin, this day when shame would try to overtake her, this day He would call her… 

Oh what an amazing Heavenly Father, what an amazing Jesus, what an AMAZING SCANDALOUS GRACE! 

Perhaps she felt like Peter when he denied Christ, then He called him to feed His sheep and follow Him… 

Peter was confident he wouldn’t stumble—in fact so confident that he contradicted Jesus. But before we judge Peter for his arrogance, we must admit that we too could wear those stumbling sandals. 

What I love about the story of Peter is that Jesus knew he would fail and knew he would deny him, yet Jesus still chose him. Knowing all things, Jesus still called Peter and said “On this rock I will build My church.”(Matt 16:18)  

I can only imagine the torment Peter must have went through by denying Jesus and possibly questioning if by stumbling, he stumbled right over his destiny into destitution.  

But Jesus.  

Those same sandals Peter stumbled in are the ones he raced John in to get to the tomb to see for themselves if what they heard was true—He is risen! They are also the same sandals that once walked on the water to Jesus and then jumped into the water to Jesus. (Matt 14:29, John 21:7) 

Jesus and Peter had a conversation in which Jesus once again affirmed Peter’s calling. (John 21:15-19) Even knowing Peter’s faults and would be failings, not once did Jesus change his mind about Peter.  

I wonder how Peter received this from Jesus. He must have been overjoyed tasting grace. Nothing heals like the sweet savor of grace.  

My friend, shocked at my request after all she had just told me, questioned, “You don’t think I’m a liability?” I replied, “No, I’ve never thought of you as a liability and I won’t start now. Jesus didn’t change his mind in the middle of our conversation. He knew every word you would say before you said it, he knew all, and He said to ask you.”  

My friend tasted grace that day. How sweet grace tastes. His love is beyond compare and His grace is deeper than the oceans. His grace reaches down into the depths, the depths of our souls, and calls us loved, accepted, wanted, and His.  

This weekend, there is a Deeper Still retreat where ladies are coming to find healing and freedom from the past sin of abortion. Perhaps, like my friend, and Peter, these ladies feel unworthy of the good gifts and calling God has for them. Will you pray with us that these ladies will hear the Lord say, “I haven’t changed my mind.  I have a plan for you. Just take my hand. Feed my sheep. Follow me.”  

What an amazing God. What an amazing Grace!  

Father God, we thank you for such an amazing grace. We thank you that even when we feel like we’ve forfeited the plan for our lives or feel unworthy of the good things you have for us, that you search for us and find us and call us. Lord, we pray for every lady at the retreat this weekend as well as those reading this that feel they are unworthy of your love and blessings. Father, draw them to you. We break the bonds of shame in the name of Jesus and declare over their lives that they are worthy in Jesus Christ. Set them free Lord. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.  

Today’s post was written by Sue Molitor. Sue works with the ministry of Deeper Still in International Relations. She lives in beautiful East Tennessee and loves spending time with her husband and 3 kids. She enjoys reading, coffee with friends, and taking long walks. She has been writing for the Deeper Still Devotions for 7 years and loves to encourage others and cheer them on towards finding freedom and healing.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you. 

 

 

 

Seeing with New Vision

“One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple.” Psalm 27:4

Hair fell to the floor below the swiveling chair. Time and time again I had been here, in this chair. My hairdresser at the time was more of a mentor than someone who did my hair. She had a way with hair, but her hair-doing ability wasn’t what drew me back to her– it was her way with people. My time with her was like someone asking, “Would you like a counseling session with a hair cut and color thrown in for free?” Um—Yes please!

One of the things she would say often is how she loved seeing all the different facets of the Lord in His creation, mainly in people—His image bearers.

She would take delight in all her clients, seeing a piece of God in each person who sat in her chair. At first, I only came to add highlights to my hair, but the reason I continually returned was because she highlighted the beauty in me and called it out.

There are many expressions and beliefs about beauty. There are reasons these saying have stuck over time—truth tends to stick around.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is one of these sayings that holds familiarity. This truth has proven true since the beginning of time.

How we view others has much to do with how we view ourselves, outwardly and inwardly, which is greatly impacted by if we are “dwelling in the house of the Lord” and what is inside of us. This isn’t about going to a physical dwelling but rather a state of the heart.

In Genesis 1:26, God said, “Let us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness.” (“Our” referring to the Holy Trinity)

The different beautiful facets of God were embedded in the very DNA of man originally. This includes inwardly and outwardly. But how we view others often is rooted in how we view ourselves and God.

When looking at others, we can either notice the beauty of each individual creation of God, made and formed in His image and likeness, compare their likeness to our own, or make assumptions and judgments. The same is true for looking at ourselves in the mirror. We need to be kind to ourselves as well.

But if we are dwelling in the house of the Lord, or in other words, abiding in His love and loving ourselves in a healthy way from a place of identity in Him, then what comes as a result is new vision.

At this point, I can’t help but think back of all the vision statements at the beginning of 2020—The year of 20/20 vision. Could it be everything happening around us is so we can look at things with new vision –Vision that beholds the beauty of the Lord in others around us, starting within our own families and then extending to others around us?

Seeing the world with new vision allows us to put ourselves in the shoes of others and cultivates compassion, empathy, care, and kindness.

What do you see when you look at an elderly person? Do you see the beauty of a life hopefully well-lived and the years of service and pouring out of themselves to others? Or if on the outside they appear fragile and worn down, what then? Do you see the beauty in perseverance and the trials they must have endured to still be pressing on and daily braving the world?

The list of the people we encounter on a daily basis is endless: the clerk at the grocery store, the neighbor hurrying to pass by, the Uber driver, the pregnant girl who seems too young.

When we begin to see the beauty in the people around us that we pass on the street in the correct godly way, we see the beauty of the Lord in them and our vision changes. Then, it is no longer outward appearance that defines our vision, it is noticing they behold the very image of God and His likeness in some way. This new vision frees us from the bonds of judgement and opens the door for us to “inquire in His temple” (Ps 27:4b) or in other words—become curious. With these new eyes and curiosity, instead of making judgements, we ask questions, which opens the door for the Holy Spirit to work. Curiosity is the key that opens the door to compassion: Curious of what their life is like; curious if they know Jesus; curious how their day is going; curious of their story; curious of who God created them to be.

When we are inward focused, we aren’t curious. And when we aren’t curious and inquiring, we are missing the beauty—the beauty of every person God created in His image.

Father God, I pray we would see with new vision—that we would see every person with the eyes of the Lord, behold the beauty of the Lord, inquire in His temple, and be filled with compassion and grace. In Jesus’ Name.

Perhaps, like my hairdresser, we can help repair the split ends of this world and add some Jesus highlights to those around us–pulling out the light and calling forth the beauty within each person crafted and intimately designed by the very hand of God.

Today’s post was written by Sue Molitor. Sue works with the ministry of Deeper Still in International Relations. She lives in beautiful East Tennessee and loves spending time with her husband and 3 kids. She enjoys reading, coffee with friends, and taking long walks. She has been writing for the Deeper Still Devotions for 7 years and loves to encourage others and cheer them on towards finding freedom and healing.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you. 

 

 

Tired.

 

“By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:35

Events over the past week are weighing heavy on many hearts. I have reached out to several dear beloved friends in the black community trying to hear their hearts and understand their pain. As a white American woman, I know I can’t understand the suffering of our sisters and brothers of color. But I want to. I want to understand at a deeper level. I want to listen and hear.

For me, this is a life issue. Life is dear, every life is precious. Every person is uniquely created in the image of God.

“And God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them.” Genesis 1:27

Then in Genesis 3, in walks the serpent.

“Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which Jehovah God has made.” (Emphasis added)

Subtle.

In the next verses, this subtle serpent tricked Eve and planted a lie into her mind that God was holding back on her. He tricked her, lied to her, and man fell. Just a subtle twist of truth led to folly and slavery and pain.

Over the years, many people groups have been targeted in hate and evil, all starting with a lie founded on one people group being more important or more valuable or more something than another. It is atrocious and horrid and downright evil.

One of my friends of color said it like this:

“It feels like having to prove that we’re telling the truth or that we’re worthy of basic human rights is a constant issue. People are tired. I’m tired. It is exhausting having to beg people to see your humanity or step out of their comfort zone for a moment to seek justice.” -Gloria Nolan

One thing I know and has been proven over and over again in the Bible and in history is that God will defend and justice will come—it may take time, but it will come if we join God as He brings justice and defends His sons and daughters.

Social injustice of any kind is a life issue and our hearts ache at the injustices and violation of human rights and devaluation of life.

We want you to know we love you, we value you, we see you, we hear you, and we recognize all lives are precious. It is sad we even have to say so. Forgive us. Forgive us for not being better listeners and not better learners. Lord, help our friends heal. Lord, heal your people. Heal our land.  

Dear Heavenly Father, our hearts ache over the pain and suffering of our brothers and sisters. Lord, we know Your heart is completely broken over the injustices your sons and daughters have endured. Lord, we ask for you to hear the cry of those suffering and in pain from injustice and fight on their behalf. We ask for You to break our hearts for what breaks yours and that the value of life would be fought for and upheld. Help us hear, listen, and love well. In Jesus, name, Amen.

*This post was written as a group effort from different voices in the black community and on the Deeper Still Devotional blog team.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you. 

Sitting in Discomfort

“For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11b-13

In my living room, there is a soft cushy oversized chair. Many mornings are spent sitting in my comfy chair reading the word, drinking coffee, looking out to the view of the forest through the glass doors to our porch. However, if I did that all day or too long, the chair wouldn’t be the only thing to be cushy. Resistance and pressure are needed for building strength.

My husband has some back issues and as a result, he cannot sit in this comfy chair. What is comfortable for me is torture for him. This is true for many people. Have you ever offered a comfortable chair to someone only to have them choose a hard, solid chair because that is actually more comfortable? When someone has pain, the comfy chair isn’t always the answer.

What if the hard chair is the answer?

So often we are looking for the comfy chair when what we need is to sit in the uncomfortable hard chair because that is what is best for our pain.

Sitting in discomfort isn’t comfortable at all, so we, as humans, usually avoid sitting in discomfort at all costs. But what if when it comes to emotional and spiritual issues, the answer lies in sitting in discomfort? What if that great paradox was true—that true comfort from the Comforter was found in discomfort?

The comfy chair for us may look like numbing with alcohol or other addictive substances, Nexflix, extensive scrolling on social media, food, or just checking out emotionally. It could be video games, music, or movies we are using as a way to avoid facing pain or escape. Even positivity or going to “happy places” in our minds or actual locations can be used to avoid pain.

What I am finding out, and the reason for this post, is the more I try to escape from pain, the more pain I feel. Sitting in comfort in attempts to avoid pain, increases pain; sitting in discomfort with pain, increases peace. Anxiety often comes for me from wanting to escape but there isn’t an escape. Now instead of fighting it, I’m embracing it. Embracing the pain, sitting in the discomfort, and inviting the Healer to come around me with the soft arms of His chair as I sit and rest in Him.

There is a paradox here that I cannot explain other than we live in an upside-down Kingdom—the more we give, the more we receive; the more we bless others, we are blessed; and the more we sit in discomfort, the more we discover healing, comfort, and peace.

This paradox occurs because when we aren’t trying to escape from the pain or numb, we are going to the Source for healing. Our salvation and healing are not in a TV show, a sleeve of chocolate chip cookies, or a cocktail at happy hour. There is only One Savior and One Healer and He isn’t found in fantasyland—He is in the hard places, when our fight, flight, or freeze kicks in, and instead of looking to escape or run, we sit, we feel, and we seek our Healer.

As I think of the Apostle Paul, I cannot help but think of all the times he sat in discomfort.

Beaten, stoned, shipwrecked. Sitting in a prison cell (not the cushy type we think of today, one where he was most likely sitting in sewage and filth). He “sat” in the deep literally for a night and a day. In perils of many kinds, sleeplessness, hungry, cold, naked, plus the concerns for all the churches (II Corinthians 11:25). All of that shouts uncomfortable. He knew what it was to sit in discomfort. That is why he could write with full confidence:

“For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11b-13

Lord, I hope I don’t have to be in the deep for a day and a night or be stoned and beaten in order to learn the things Paul learned. But what he learned through adversity is what enabled him to be able to sit in prison stocks with Silas and sing praises with peace instead of panicking. Sitting in discomfort will also transform the way we respond to pain from a place of panic to peace.

Sitting in discomfort is where Paul found His Source of strength—Christ. Similarly, as we are still and sit in discomfort, we will find our strength, healing, freedom, and peace. I know it sounds upside down, but it is in the hard chair where we find healing and peace from the only true Source of comfort.

Father, thank you for how you comfort us. Thank you Lord that when we sit with you in our pain that we actually find the peace that we have been searching for all along. Lord, we invite you to sit with us in the hard chairs, the hard places, and we ask for you to heal and strengthen our hearts. Only You can heal our broken hearts. And may we learn as Paul did to be content in all things knowing we can do all things through Christ who has strengthened us. In Jesus’ mighty name we pray, amen.

Today’s post was written by Sue Molitor. Sue is on staff with the ministry of Deeper Still in International Relations. She lives in beautiful East Tennessee and loves spending time with her husband and 3 kids. She enjoys reading, coffee with friends, and taking long walks. She has been writing for the Deeper Still Devotions for 7 years and loves to encourage others and cheer them on towards finding freedom and healing.

Deeper Still is a ministry that offers free weekend retreats for women who have had abortions and the men who fathered children lost to abortion. If you have had an abortion and would like more information about our retreats, please go to www.GoDeeperStill.org to find a retreat close to you. 

 

 

A Coin Lost, Then Found

 

Today’s post was written by a Deeper Still Team Member on the Central Illinois Deeper Still Team.

“Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it? And when she has found it, she calls her friends and neighbors together, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the piece which I lost!’ Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Luke 15:8-10

A coin has value. Maybe only a little bit by itself, but when paired with others, they can make a bountiful treasure.  When it starts out, a coin shines. Polished and without blemish. But as it’s passed around, spent, tucked away, forgotten, found, reused, left in the yard, spent again…the wear begins to show. The edges get worn. The shininess fades. The image blurred. The people, who pass that coin around, think nothing of it. Just a means to get whatever it is that they need.

But what happens to a lost coin?

Contrary to most, I have an uncanny ability to find my way around. I’ll study a location on the map, find where I need to be, and memorize the way. If it’s a difficult route, I’ll use my GPS on the first trip. But, if I’ve been somewhere, even only once, I will never forget how I got there. Like my first trip to Italy. I memorized all the tourist maps, studied the streets and took so many photos. My second trip, I didn’t need a map or to plot routes. I knew exactly where I was, and where I wanted to be. 

Even though I have this innate resourcefulness, which I’ll admit, my husband does not, I know what it’s like to be lost.

I spent 22 years of my life lost, and I didn’t even know it. Growing up in a small town was a blessing.  I knew everyone and they all knew me. They knew me by my father. My last name was a name that has toiled in that little town for generations. “Oh you’re Keith’s girl,” I would hear all the time. My father is a good man. Hard worker. Like his father before him. Pride is attached to that name. So I never had a sense of not belonging. I never felt lost. I always knew where home was. And when I needed home it was always there.

Until one day, when a series of very bad decisions landed me in a hospital bed. I heard a whisper from a father to his child. “Are you done yet?” Only this wasn’t coming from the hall or the room next to me, the whisper was to me.  This question was not one of condemnation for why I was there, but a question of love and concern. Awkwardly I said out loud, “yes.” This father reached down to his child, plucked out her heart of stone, and gave her a heart of flesh. And in that moment, I knew I had lived my whole life as a lost coin. And my father had just found me.

The new heart beating in my chest, made it obviously clear, what a worn coin I was. But this new clarity was not accompanied by fear. I knew now I was a worn lost coin, but that I made it back to the one who made me. That he scooped me up, put me in his pocket, took me home, and placed me gently into a box with all the other precious coins he’s found. And once in that box, I knew what it was like to truly be known.

Fellow coin. In this time of uncertainty and fear for many, know your worth. Know that when you were plucked up, in whatever state you were in, and brushed off by our Father in Heaven, the angels rejoiced with Him as he placed you safely in his arms. He is always with us, and never forsakes us. You are like the child known by all in a small town because of her father. You are loved, and cherished. And even though you were lost, you were found and restored to the one who made you. Walk in that certainty. Walk these troubling waters with that assurance. That the God, who made the heavens and the earth, has you found you and set you apart, for the day when he will restore ALL things to himself.

Father, thank you for your unfailing mercies. For seeking us out, and finding us wherever we were. Thank you for continuing to be with us, and never leaving us. As we walk these days and weeks of uncertainty, guard us and gird us with your truth. The truth that you are in control of all things. And that we are your treasured ones.