Please share this post today to bring an awareness that men can be wounded by abortion and also need healing.
“But Peter and those with him were heavy with sleep; and when they were fully awake, they saw His glory and the two men who stood with Him.” Luke 9: 32
Father, we know there are men out there who have been sleeping. There are men with abortion-wounded hearts who we need to arise from their slumber and see Your glory. Father, we ask for you to awaken this nation to the truth that abortion is not just a women issue, but it affects the hearts of fathers as well. We ask for an awareness that many men were never given a choice on if their children lived. Lord, comfort those who grieve the loss of their children and bring them healing. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
There was an article published a couple months ago that mentioned how abortion affects not only women but also the men who encouraged the abortion. While this is true, there was no mention of those men who didn’t encourage the abortion. My heart is pained for anyone who has been affected by abortion, but when I read this article, I immediately thought of those men who were never given a choice or never had a voice. There are many men who may have aborted children in heaven and will never know until the day they enter eternity.
My friend, Jason, is a man who as mentioned above never had a choice. Today, I asked him if I could share his story to awaken an awareness of truth. Thank you, Jason, for sharing your story.
I had two major giants I’d been avoiding for many years. I’m going to share about one of them with you. He told me that in order to be used by Him the way that He intended my heart had to be whole. It started with facing the giant called Abortion.
I was with someone over 20 years ago who aborted two of my children. I wanted to keep each one of them but she felt very differently. I left town the night before she had the first abortion. I went out into the woods and camped. The morning she had the first abortion, at the exact time of her appointment, I stood by the river, looking out over the water and heard this voice say to me, “You’re damned. God has damned you”. I felt a part of me die that day.
She aborted my second child just a few months later and again I felt as if I was damned. Over the years since then, I struggled with addiction, anxiety, shame, anger, and health issues. I had trouble looking people in the eyes.
Eventually, I rededicated my life to the Lord and had forgiven the mother of those children and myself, at least so I thought. I had prayed prayers of forgiveness, but deep down the disgust, the anger, the embarrassment, the rejection, and shame remained. I didn’t acknowledge the lives of those two precious children. I didn’t want to. I tried to pretend many times over that they never happened. I denied them over and over. I lived with this weight, this secret for over 20 years.
…Until I went up the mountain to the retreat site. It’s not easy going up the mountain. It never is. I was tempted to turn around, to give in to a ‘last minute something happened so I can’t make it’, or to back out of the cabin parking lot and drive away.
And that’s what I almost did. But then that I heard the Holy Spirit so gently say, “You can do this. You have to do this. I will be with you every step of the way. Nothing is impossible for me. It is for freedom that I have set you free.”
I pulled into the parking lot and I was immediately greeted by the smiling faces of the Deeper Still team. I parked my car, got out (still afraid), and then Clay said “Hey”, and totally disarmed me. I immediately felt the love of God and knew right then that it was going to be ok.
Well, it turns out that it was better than ok. To put it simply, the retreat was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. I was finally able to share my secret in a safe place and as the retreat progressed, the weight that I had carried with me for so long, began to lighten until it finally left once and for all. I experienced the true love of Jesus, deeper healing and a peace that I had never known before. I knew that I was not damned – I was loved and accepted, forgiven. Strongholds were broken that weekend. In one of the most touching segments of the retreat, I was finally able to embrace and acknowledge my two children, Ethan and Savannah. They became real to me. I know they’re ok. They’re waiting for me and one day I will hold them in my arms and kiss their beautiful faces.
Deeper Still is one of the most incredible and anointed ministries I’ve been around. The love, spirit and organization of this ministry are like none other I’ve experienced. The need for this ministry cannot be understated.
I went up the mountain, a grasshopper. I came down the mountain a giant killer, a new creation in Christ. You see, I slayed one of my giants that weekend. The anxiety, shame, and anger I carried up the mountain were no longer there. The parts of me that died over 20 years ago were brought back to life. I felt a wholeness like never before. I got back the freedom to look people in the eyes, and the voice I lost was restored. It gave me the strength to face my other giant, which I’m in the process of doing now.
The stories the other men shared were amazing. Watching the progression of their restoration was healing and invigorating. Men, this ministry and the retreat is not for women only. There are men reading this who have been with someone who had an abortion, or perhaps you know a man who has gone through this. You may be forgiven, and you may have acknowledged the abortion to your pastor. But I want to encourage you to go deeper still. You have what it takes. Slay your giant. -Jason
If you fathered a child who was aborted, there is a safe place for you to go to find healing and freedom. There are two spots left for men for the April retreat. It is April 28-30. You can go to www.godeeperstill.org for more information and to register. Men, we need you. We need you to be a voice for the voiceless. Will you awake and see His glory? His glory awaits you!
If you haven’t already, will you subscribe to receive our blogs through email! Thank you!